Sunday, November 18, 2012

Discerning Adoption

I feel called to adoption, but my dh won't even talk about it. He just gets mad and walks away or changes the subject.

I feel that he is being selfish for not being more open to this possibility of having kids. Because he won't talk to me about it much at all (he's not a very open/emotional type), I can't know for sure what it is that he rejects outright about adoption. But, I do feel like he probably has some misconceptions or common fears that are worth exploring outright.

Sometimes the things God calls us to are not comfortable at all. He doesn't like to go to confession and hardly ever goes, because he feels very uncomfortable about it. Yet, we know that confession is a sacrament and that God really does call us there. It helps us become closer to Him and also to each other.

Maybe adoption doesn't seem comfortable, but he needs to explore it before he can reject it outright. How can he know for sure God's not calling us there just because it's uncomfortable?

I'm not sure what to do other than pray.

My heart is so broken.

We have exhausted major and minor forms of medical treatment (including 3 surgeries at PPVI), and I'm just so tired of the IF lifestyle. It is such a painful cross and all the more so when it emotionally alienates you from your spouse.

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